Meaningless rules, values and virtues imposed on us that we do not own, but are resisted as we fight as children to maintain our freedom! We are instructed as to what we are supposed to be, do and think, in fact it is pushed down our throats instead of us coming to the truth naturally, through experience as we are intended to do. Humans, neither child or adult, do not liked to be pushed, we like to be drawn to what inspires us, to what is true. In the absence of finding such a motivation we settle for being pushed to go with the flow and cope throughout our lives.
What is not our own visceral belief confuses and confounds our sensibilities. Children, when not instructed by their parents as to the reason for confusing life experiences in an honest and open way by their parents, fill in the blanks! This mystifies little children and sets them up for a life time of inner turmoil surrounding the issue that mystified them. If we too are mystified, what’s to become of our children’s beliefs, their security, their well-being. Their convictions and resolve will be weak at best and they will be eternally confused. By clinging to the party line that kids are resilient and will be just fine, clears us of any responsibility and guilt, but the pain remains.
Children, absent some unforeseen traumatic tragedy, don’t need therapy! Their parents do! To compensate for their misery, children adapt as they must to survive in an adult world. They sacrifice them “selves” and find a strategy that best suits their needs for what they’re not getting. Perfectionism seems a worthy substitute because it’s what we tell good little boys and girls they are supposed to be! If that doesn’t work they act out and all of the sudden they are afflicted with ADHD and are prescribed powerful stimulants to bring them into the fold!
Perfectionism isn’t always seen as a problem, many boast of their malady, though it’s soul killing! When the depression and OCD sets in we fix em up with Lexapro or Wellbutrin though.