Enabler (definition Merriam Webster): one that enables another to achieve an end; especially : one who enables another to persist in self-destructive behavior (as substance abuse) by providing excuses or by making it possible to avoid the consequences of such behavior.
This definition is interesting because I don’t know many people who DON’T enable others.
The many regularly enable Self-destructive behaviors and foster the proliferation of those behaviors in the form of commiserating with those who have experienced external ego losses.
The most blatantly obvious of the enablers techniques is seen in the form of comforting those who feel Frustrated!
What is frustration? How does a person become frustrated?
To be frustrated is to be disappointed, thwarted, to be dissatisfied. To be dissatisfied is to be depressed or discouraged by the failure of one’s hopes or expectations.
Expectations are placed on an outcome, and it turns out differently then we wanted it to, and we choose to feel frustrated.
When a person has placed a scintilla of there inner contentment on anything outside of them Selfs, they have placed part of them Selfs with that desire, dream or hope.
This idea of placing our ambitions on external objects is socially acceptable, and even admirable in our culture. It is also the very thing that keeps us bound to the whims of the world, a world that we can not control! When we are disappointed and frustrated because we don’t achieve what we think will give us more happiness, we have erred from the outset of our endeavor.
When another consoles us, without helping us see our error, they enable and reinforce our sin! They fail us, though they appear to comfort us. They validate our ego and our continuation of employing it’s use. Merit and advancement is given deference to true growth and well-being in our culture. We may recite a flowery platitude in an attempt to elevate, but by and by we seek the wrong things for the wrong reasons.
It takes much strength and courage to keep the most important things in life at the center of our awareness and actions, when frustration is validated in lieu of the truth, we fail greatly!