Consciousness has proven to be a vexing idea to define or even comprehend because like many other of the most life affirming concepts (i.e. Love, Faith, the Mind, Imagination, the Soul and Energy) are Fundamentally Intangible and difficult to quantify. For my purposes here Consciousness is the quality of being aware of ourselves and the more our aware we are, the higher our level of consciousness.

Awareness, in terms of Human Consciousness, would be the phenomenon of Observing an event, external or internal, and then possessing the ability, through Thought, to assign abstract meaning to it, or giving it contextual and emotional significance. Human Awareness includes the ability to Bracket (the ability to observe the observer, to analyze thoughtfully how an event caused one to feel, think, and behave) the reaction that the event initiates, in the one who experiences it. In my writing I will use this term in lieu of consciousness, but for my hypothesis I think the idea of consciousness is essential.

Human beings possess the highest level of consciousness, or awareness, of any life form that we know of. Inchoate in our humanness, is our ability to consciously change or modify our beliefs and thus our interpretations and reactions to subsequent experiences. In this way our mind is analogous to a computer and our beliefs the software through which we process our experiences to produce a resultant thought and potential action. This phenomenon is evidence of both our natural and inexorable urge to create and of our inherent free-will. The more aware we are the more we have access to deliberately (consciously) modifying our programming and therefore our personal reality, or world view.

As we have discovered in the study of subatomic particles, the fundamental components of all matter, or energy, has some level of awareness of itself when a conscious observer is present. Without the presence of a conscious observer energy is shown to behave as a wave, or a range of possibilities. From this we can state that, absent the element of Consciousness, the characteristics of matter have no definite measurable or quantifiable structure.

When studying the complexity of Humans, completely objective means can not be applied. We are inchoately subjective creatures, within the confines of our human (mind-body) experience. Even our language cannot fully capture our intent as we all assign different meanings to words, phrases and the intent of the conveyor of the message. We conceptualize in our minds, even when we are very aware, pictures in attempt to create an experience so we can fully understand. So the most pure form of communication is experience by the very aware and wise individual. In substitution we can mentally, “Paint a Picture”, by way of poetry, parable, metaphor, allegory or he like to more fully engage the interpreter in our communications. Our non-verbal communication makes a much bigger impact on the listener, as they attempt to surmise our meaning and intention. With the most profound concepts like love, hope, the mind, faith, consciousness, and the like, language fails miserably as a vehicle to communicate our true intent.

Fundamental Beliefs

Fundamental Beliefs

We all must have our own set of Fundamental Beliefs that we ourselves deliberately and consciously choose and fully embrace. When we do, everything we think, do and say is our own. We can only be fully human if we are aware, and to the extent that we are unaware and function with borrowed, unknown and dispassionate beliefs, we merely exist as beings lost in the illusion of the material world.

To be human is to feel, then think (in that order), and to bring into harmony the heart and the mind! The body provides the vehicle for us to live and experience the joys, exhilarations and sensations of life. It also provides tension, as the mind and body have many conflicting needs and desires. This duality perfectly provides us with the uniquely wonderful Human experience.

From the time that we first become aware and can form our first thought, we automatically begin to create our own Personal Reality. This allows our brain, and mind, a construct in which to efficiently operate and navigate through life. This is an Instinctual process in Humans and it allows us to think abstractly and observe ourselves. It is as Descartes said, “I think therefore I am”.

Because we are born, with our brain not yet fully developed, we exist for a time unaware, in the uniquely human sense, and as a Rule, initially develop a primitive form of awareness, automatically.

Analogous and a priori to the four fundamental physical forces, the Life Force, lies outside the scope of scientific inquiry, but accounts for life and Human Consciousness From the time that we begin to form in our mothers womb. The Life Force (the Libido as Jung defines it) fuels our physical, and eventually mental and spiritual growth. It supports life, Nurtures life, urges the propagation of life, makes us want to thrive and grow and keeps us wanting to live. It manifests in different ways throughout our lifetime, first supporting our physical and nutritional growth and development, then urging us to propagate, then through our intention fuels our passions. It is as a Spark and as such can burn us, if we are unaware and cannot harness and direct its power. But with a growing awareness it can light a fire that lifts us to our full expression as we actualize and love and live to our full potential.

There are milestones in life that are a result of our physical and psychic growth. As we develop we must accept the responsibility for our own self and separate from the safety of our parents. This is a monumental task as Jung refers to it as the, Self Sacrifice. We die to our old self and assume our new independence into the realms of adulthood and self sufficiency. This is an ubiquitous theme throughout the world and history and countless myths, stories and Art of every form are evidence of its importance. After puberty, as we have come into the fullness of our bodies and develop a functioning ego (usually externally focused and normally functioning in society), we experience many discordant events that do not work within the confines of our Personal Reality. Many of these events are minor and experienced as miscommunications with others, broken short-term relationships, disagreements with friends and co-workers and the like. Depending on our level of awareness, and our knowledge base that we have built through linking learning with experience, we can clarify our reality or we can distort it to make it fit the event. If we make it a practice to distort, are supported by our confidants in our inaccurate assessments and do not continue to enhance our knowledge base, we can fall prey to the trap of our ego and become fixed in life at our current point of awareness and even regress. Usually it takes more impactful events to cause us to introspect and question our deeply held beliefs. These life moments, or “Moments of Truth”, are major life crises and the way in which we respond can have wonderful or horrific consequences.

When deliberately choosing our beliefs, we must be honest and vulnerable with ourselves and those we choose to have in our lives. In this way we can better tune our reality and thus navigate through our lives with more love and enhanced experiences. We must also employ our intellect to the full extent, both reason and intuition as that is how we are wired and how we function. The more aware we are, the more aligned we are with the Life Force and the less personal psychic energy it takes for our progress.

There is one Ultimate Reality! We all are part of a greater Awareness that created all that is so it could Consciously Observe and experience itself and the many expressions of Love. We, during our human experience, are bound to a lower level of awareness from which we came and can therefore never comprehend that level of awareness during our temporal Human experience. Within this physical construct in which we experience human existence, there is one Ultimate Reality and, although rarely attained, is possible to.

There is an Ultimate Truth! During our life experience there is one Truth that can be known through gaining Wisdom as humans. Few reach it, but it is possible. The Ultimate Truth is not to be known during our time here on earth, as it is incomprehensible through our limited facilities in our physical form.

The more aware you are, the more wisdom you’ve acquired, the fewer trials and tribulations you perceive and the more joy, confidence, and love you experience.

Learning, Experiencing, Knowledge, and Wisdom

Learning, Experiencing, Knowledge, and Wisdom

What separates the people that achieve and live fully Actualized lives, from the rest of “us”? Are these people special, blessed, gifted or in someway endowed with a greatness that we could never hope to understand? While they might have been given talent in abundance, in some areas that naturally surpasses our own, we all have the potential for leading truly outstanding lives and making significant contributions. “They”, (I think they are the “they” that I hear about in so many conversations that seem to possess all the answers btw), by and large, kept their passion alive from childhood and formed an empowering personal Reality that transcended the “norm”. They knew how to “Learn”, within the confines of our education system, family influences, societal influence, and era in which they live (zeitgeist). Their personal reality supported their growth and led to Wisdom (ability to integrate their Knowledge into an effective critical thinking ability to accurately make accurate assessments and decisions in life)

When we are young, we are full of curiosity and willing to risk bodily injury, imagine without limits and experience with awe, the newness and exhilaration that our bodies, all of the feelings and emotions provide us. This phenomenon of young children endears them to us. When asked what a young child wants to be or do when they grow up children will say, I want to be an Astronaut, or The President or something that seems, to the adult, quite overly ambitious. As time goes on and the child ages, for the most part, their dreams and ambitions lessen as they begin to form beliefs about who they are. These beliefs begin to shape their “Lens” in which they view their world. Slowly more “realistic” aspirations are adopted into their reality, as they notice where they rank and fit into the hierarchy of their environment. The zeal and excitement attached to the idea of what is possible is lost. What Killed the Dream? Where did their Passion go?

The Key, for most of us, is to learn how to learn.
In any field of endeavor, or study, to truly learn, and then take that learning into knowledge, we need to experience it at the most fundamental level. We must experience the concept, not just read about it or listen to an instructor, and then regurgitate what we memorized when examined. To truly learn, we must experience things visually, as this is how our brain interprets information and abstract concepts. To Experience means, all of our senses are employed and emotions and feelings attached to that event. We are feeling beings that think after all. Denying the way we are wired by teaching and learning via a system that was created to produce workers in factories in the service of wealthy Industrialists, does not lead to a Knowledgeable populace. Linking learning with experience Transforms, what was but a concept to be memorized, into knowledge. With knowledge our minds now have the construct needed for the higher goal of wisdom and the critical thinking needed to more fully live.

Being Wrong

Why we like being right even though we’re wrong a lot of the time

From the time we are able to make our very first conscious choice, and then take our first action, we are told we are either wrong or right. At first we are often wrong but that doesn’t feel very good and those telling us we’re wrong obviously disapprove of us. We quickly realize that being right gets us praise and acceptance, and that does make us feel good. We are told, or we begin to develop the idea, that people that are wrong do poorly in school and work, get in trouble, are generally bad and lazy or end up unhappy or are foolish or whatever. Eventually even when we make a wrong decision we convince ourselves we are right; to maintain our security, safety and self-concept. Although we pay lip service to the fact that the human species is flawed, we continually fool ourselves into knowing we are right the vast majority of the time. If we become successful, or think we are at this self-delusion, we can become perfectionists and actually wall ourselves off from much of life. We must be perfect, we must be right so we shield ourselves from failure and do only those things that we think we know how to do rightly. We can even begin to see others, that push the boundaries, as dangerous and often delight in their perceived failures, thus cementing our rightness while sacrificing our chance to truly experience one of the most important blessings of life.

We all see the world through our own filter or lens. Our own unique lens is a creation of the beliefs we have chosen, the assumptions we make from those beliefs and then the inferences we conclude from those assumptions. If we have chosen to adopt the belief that we are always or mostly right, we sacrifice a great and uniquely human gift. Instead of actively striving to focus and clarify our lens, by searching for our wrongness and then adopting more empowering and insightful beliefs, we actively choose to distort and warp our lens for the preservation of our rightness. In this way, either consciously or unconsciously, we bind ourselves to a static or even regressive existence, our experiences are lessened, and we become vulnerable to isolation and poor relationships. In effect our, endowed blessing of choice, becomes hijacked by our ego.

As it relates to relationships, not allowing ourselves the gift of being wrong, can have devastating consequences. In fact we can’t even have a healthy relationship if we can not own up to our wrong doings. Two people can coexist, but if one or both of them can not be wrong, no empathy or real communication can take place. Only by having the courage to be vulnerable and admitting ones wrongs, can understanding, acceptance and love flourish and deepen. Absent our ability to actively search for and make right our wrongs, relationships fail or are at least diminished. When we can embrace are wrongs, and willingly take responsibility for them, our relationships are actually enhanced, trust builds and bonds strengthen. We learn the value of one another, we learn forgiveness, we learn compassion and acceptance. We are ultimately both made better as we more fully accept of ourselves and the other.

Being wrong is one of the most important things we can do to enhance the human experience! If we never pushed ourselves into the abyss of unknowingness, we would still be living in caves. Being wrong, or the willingness to be so, has catapulted our species forward in innumerable ways. From music to art to technology to sports to nearly everything that gives this life it’s color and uniqueness. One need only point to Einstein, or Edison, or Newton, or Washington, or on and on and on, to demonstrate that the willingness to err is quintessential for the advancement of the individual and our species. If we choose to be always right we choose a lessened experience, we lose. We should delight in our mistakes and be joyful in our wrongness. We are endowed with the ability to step back and look at ourselves and our choices. If we can be honest with ourselves and recognize and admit our wrongness and failures, we can move forward. To live rightly is to be wrong!

Why Smart People Make Dumb Decisions!

Why Smart People Make Stupid Decisions

“Enlightenment is man’s leaving his self-caused immaturity.
Immaturity is the incapacity to use one’s intelligence without the guidance of another. Such immaturity is self-caused it is not caused by lack of intelligence, but by lack of determination and courage to use one’s intelligence without being guided by another.”
Immanuel Kant

How many times have you said or heard said, “you’re a smart guy, why did you do that?” Or some variation of that phrase. Why do people, who are considered smart, do things and make decisions that seem so stupid sometimes? It seems that the paragon of all endowments is intelligence. All parents want, and believe, that their children are smarter than most. We want the smartest person to make or help us make vital decisions in all facets of our lives. The thing is being smart, although it can be advantageous, doesn’t mean one is wise or possess true knowledge! We are human but we are also animals biologically. While we think we make our most important decisions based on sound, reasonable or smart thinking, the reality is most of our decisions are based on emotions or made unconsciously for us by our fears or the beliefs that we unconsciously accept as gospel.

Our brains are wired to make emotionally based decisions. Our limbic system, sometimes referred as our reptilian brain, receives our perceptions before our neocortex has an opportunity to assess and make sense of the information. The limbic system is where our emotions come from. We are designed this way for survival. When a Saber Tooth Tiger is chasing you it matters little how smart or logical we are, we need to get the Fuck out of there! The thing is though, we humans are gifted with the opportunity of choice and self reflection. We can observe our observations. This is an enormous blessing but too few of us have taken the time to develop this ability. Just like an infant, that prefers to crap in its own pants, until taught not to, as adults we prefer to do what we feel like whenever we want to until we learn how to make the right choices for ourselves. This can only be accomplished by taking the time, and having the courage, to become self-aware. We must go inside and get to know ourselves, what we fear, what we are good at, what we are not, what we believe, what fuels our passions, what we truly need, etc. With deliberate and honest introspection, we eventually become more and more self-aware. We begin to know ourselves, to accept ourselves, to love ourselves and self-confidence and self-mastery can ultimately be attained. Then we can all make good decisions regardless of our intellectual prowess or god given processor speed.

In our current mindset, we as a culture are much more externally focused. We focus on results, competition and teaching our children what we think they need to survive and thrive in the world. We teach them the skills that allow them to make money and have things. We are more impressed by our neighbors retirement savings, or square footage of their house, than how developed or truly happy they are! We pay relatively little attention to the most important skills and achievements like self-awareness, critical thinking, and existential things like the meaning of life and so forth. It shouldn’t be a big mystery then why we are over medicated, depressed, anxious and stressed out of our gourds as a species! We are doing things because we were told to, because that is the way to do them, because it’s the path to success and happiness. We’re not really sure “why” because we don’t know ourselves! We are therefore, Ill prepared at handling challenges, fostering healthy relationships and achieving true happiness.

So, smart people make stupid decisions because they are on autopilot! They might be able to split a fucking atom with a spoon and duct tape but they can’t make good self-aware life decisions, have terrible relationships, need antidepressants to function and can barely make it through a work week! Divorce is the norm, we are generally unhappy, we daydream about moving to a tropical island, the key to it all is always lies somewhere out there. Once I have enough money then I’ll be happy, once I get that promotion, if I only had a more loving husband, the list goes on and on. If we would spend a fraction of the time we do on learning the skills that we think we need to survive and thrive in this cruel world, we’d already have all that we ever need! The internal victory of ones self and the development of our unique human brains is the key to wisdom, smart choices and happiness. We’ve spent so little time and effort on developing our god given human abilities because that just isn’t important, making money and keeping up with the Joneses is!

How to Avoid Arguments

Loving and Passionate Relationships! Avoiding Arguments.  

If you as an individual follow the these recommendations you can avoid the pitfalls that cause so much pain, separation and broken lives! 

The bottom line is that great relationships don’t just happen, they must be built consciously and worked on for life!

If you’re not consciously aware of yourself and your relationship it will be like a leaf on the wind, who knows where it will end up? 

When it does end you’ll catch yourself saying things like, “we grew apart”, or “we have different paths now” or “are journey has ended”, or any number of other mystified and unaware banal platitudes. 

If there was ever a true bond, an important connection and true love it must be nurtured to last and to grow. 

Why do couples argue? 

 We argue to be right, for control, to make the other as we want or need them to be, or when we can’t accept responsibility or accept ourselves. 

We argue when we are not putting our loves needs before our own! 

 Never look to anyone as your primary source of happiness, security, purpose, or validation. 

Be responsible for yourself so you can add to the relationship. 

Have your own interests and achieve yourself.  No developed Self no relationship possible!

Do not sacrifice your own self, your best self enhances the relationship, so develop your own skills and your self confidence will flourish! 

The importance of forgiveness and to not to hold on to resentments can not be overstated! Forgiveness is mandatory for growth and love. 

Resentments poison your soul and ultimately the relationship! 

Don’t bury things because you’re actually planting seeds that will grow into eggshells that can explode if accidentally walked upon! 

Discuss and resolve issues lest they derail you in the future. 

Be Vulnerable! Opening yourself up may seem to be the scariest thing ever but trust me there is a prize of great value when we summon the courage to do so!  

When you more honestly reveal yourself you mate can see you, have compassion for you, accept you deeper and love you more profoundly! 

 Love is reciprocal. Give it and receive it, this keeps it flowing. Give love often and never withhold any kindness nor reject any kindness. No relationship management techniques or marriage counselors are required if you keep this cycle flowing! It is reinforcing and the habit of love is a great habit to acquire!

Romantic relationships must have two self aware and self confident people to last and flourish. 

Be responsible for your own development and foster an accepting environment where you and your mate can grow without the fear of being judged for trying! 

Grow together! Don’t fall into the trap of becoming a Married Single! 

Deliberately find activities that you both enjoy doing together. The more interactive and engaging the activity the better. This strengthens your bond and the more passion you both have for this the stronger your bond becomes!

Wisely choose your battles! If it connects good, if it separates bad!

Maintain your passion and desire for each other by actively distancing yourself regularly. 

Notice the things that attracted you from the very beginning, the smile, the humor, the confidence, the charm, the charisma! The demands of life can tend to dampen the flames of our desire for each other in the bedroom, when this fades too much so does your love. 

The power of building walls. Very destructive! Tear them down! Become an expert at demolishing not a skilled builder! Walls block connection, vulnerability opens connection. 

Beliefs can empower you or destroy you. Your critical thinking prowess must continually be refined. Love is understanding your mate, how they see the world, what they need to feel love! 

The ego is subtle yet so Powerful when we give it reign to control our minds. It sees only what it wants to. Egos separate and never truly connect or communicate. Egos battle for control! 

Never try to control!, for the effects of trying to control lead to separation!

Love can only flourish with acceptance and seeing the best in the other. 

Accept your mate completely worts and all!

You can lead a horse to water and you can fool yourself into believing that they’ve drunk it. Be gentle and patient.

Control over anything outside yourself is foolish. Detachment of your wants and expectations frees you from self induced pain. Things will happen good and bad! Accept it and continue to do your best. Don’t let your energy be drained by things you can’t control. Our energy is vital for us to function at our best. Patch energy leaks when they are brought to your awareness! 

Give up the need to be right! This is the source of much agony and it separates. If you find yourself arguing the facts, not listening and formulating your next thought before the other has finished speaking, take a breath and calm yourself. Re-engage when you are calm. 

Never put your shit on another and don’t let them put their shit on you! Don’t project your issues onto your mate, and don’t let your mate cast their spells onto you!


How many times have you heard someone comment about another, they just don’t make good choices, or I like him but I’ve never agreed with his choices, or I wished she made better choices? So many it seems, are concerned with the choices that others make. Of course these catch phrases are but lame and euphemistic mind tricks that allow us to covertly judge others while sounding concerned for their welfare and happiness. We have become skilled practitioners, at least we think we have, in the use of accepted yet banal phrases that allow us to rank, subjugate, condemn and categorize others while sounding ever so accepting and wise. We are in fact fooling ourselves as we perniciously gossip, no different than people have done since the first three humans were conversing and the first one walked away, now we just do it with more a tad bit more sophistication and with more elegant eloquent prose.

The words or phrases that we employ really don’t matter, it’s the intention behind them that gives our thoughts and comments their potency. Are we attempting to connect and understand others or are we attempting to separate from them? Are we wanting to draw others closer to us or is our intention to push them away and label them as bad, while subtly positioning ourselves into the superior person? So much talk about how he did this and what she did and with whom. So many wasted hours on fatuous banter and so little time trying to see the other, their struggles and their wounded spirit.

%d bloggers like this: